Your choice of words could make or break your relationship

Eventually, in virtually every relationship the moment comes when the two sides stop paying attention to their choice of words and begin to push each other away using poorly thought-out phrases.
We at Bright Side decided it was time to work out how to preserve the warmth in a relationship and avoid ever letting things reach breaking point. It turns out that all you need to do is apply three simple rules of communication.

1.When speaking about your wishes, cut out “don’t“ and ”won’t.”

Elements of speech such as “don’t“ and ”won’t“ have the ability to give certain assertions a negative quality. Therefore, they’re not worth using when you talk about your wishes. Moreover, it’s often harder for your partner to understand how to act when they hear phrases like this, as their ambiguity leaves them with many different options.
Bad: “I don’t want you to control me.”
Good: ”I want you to trust me.”

2.  Try to use “and“ instead of ”but.”

This rule seems simple, but you’ll actually have to spend a long time incorporating this change into your life. But it’s definitely worth it, for this one rule can reset your communication with your partner from being a duel of words to a forum for cooperation. You can see the difference for yourself:
Bad: “I understand you, but I also want you to understand me.“
Good: ”I understand you, and I also want you to understand me.”

3.Don’t spoil a compliment with negativity.

Have you noticed how some people think it wise to express their dissatisfaction even while they’re offering praise? The problem is that such individuals’ brains are wired to react with greater energy to bad things. If you want to praise someone, take extra care not to mix compliments and criticism together.
Bad: “Supper was delicious, unlike yesterday.“
Good: ”Supper was delicious, thank you!”
From time to time, we underestimate the strength of our words, and at the same time we’re too lazy to work on our speech habits. But it’s ultimately better to learn to talk in such a way that allows others to understand us than it is to deal with problems caused by misunderstanding. Wouldn’t you agree?

 

 

-Brightside

You could save your marriage by not allowing your man to do chores – study

Couples may be better off living in a “traditional” household where women do all the housework if they want to stay together, according to a report from the Oslo and Akershus University College of Applied Science.

Norwegian researchers were interested to see how married and cohabiting men and women divided housework and childcare throughout various life stages. They analyzed two separate studies involving nearly 20,000 men and women aged 18 to 79: the study of Life Course, Generation and Gender, and the study of the Norwegian Life Course, Ageing, and Generations. Participants respectively answered questions about the division of housework and childcare; their attitudes toward gender equality; as well as other variables like life stage and social class.

The results showed 65 percent of couples equally or near-equally divided childcare, but not housework: Women reported doing all or almost all of the work in 11 percent of couples and “somewhat more of the work” in 60 percent of couples. About 25 percent of couples divided the work more equally, with younger couples, childless couples, and couples where the woman had a full-time job among those more likely to split domestic chores.

Researchers did not find an association between a traditional share of housework (women do most of the work) and a lower risk of divorce — but they did report untraditional couples had a greater risk for divorce. Men who did as much or more of the housework were more likely to get divorced than couples where the woman did most of the housework over a period of four years.

“The more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate,” said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled “Gender Equality At Home,” according to AFP. While researchers found no or very little cause-and-effect, they believe that the observation could be due to “modern” attitudes.

It may be traditional couples “hold a high value of marriage and a more traditional attitude towards divorce,” while untraditional couples “may hold less of a traditional or modern view of marriage, whereby marital dissatisfaction more easily leads to marital break-up,” according to the report.

“Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the chores and in their perception of marriage” as being less sacred, Hansen said, stressing it was all about values. “In these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage much easier if they divorce.”

Researchers said sharing equal responsibility for domestic chores doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment, and that the lack of equality at home and quality of life was surprising. “One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite,” Hansen said.

He said that the correlation could be because couples are happier when they have clearly-defined roles in the relationship where people aren’t stepping on each other’s toes. “There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight,” he added.

The results from the latest survey appears to contradict a recent study carried out by researchers at Cambridge University earlier this year that found men were actually happier when sharing the housework.

The Cambridge study was based on previously collected data from 30,000 people in 34 countries. Researchers found that men had benefited the more they contributed to household chores, but researchers suggested that this could also be because they preferred a quiet life doing housework than having a disgruntled other half.

This story has been updated to include more information on study methods and conclusions.

 

 

 

 

-Medicaldaily

 

 

 

 

What flowers are appropriate for Valentine’s day

Roses

red rose

Not surprisingly, this classic bud is “the most popular choice for Valentine’s Day,” says Kate Law, Product Design Manager at ProFlowers.com. It could be because red roses symbolize love, romance, beauty and perfection. The iconic flower is also known for being pricey—according to Michael Gaffney, Director of the New York School of Flower Design, “flower growers hold back their rose bushes for months in order to have them bloom in time for February 14th—and then they raise the prices, giving roses that sought-after reputation.”

Gerbera Daisies

orange gerbera daisy

Daisies are known for symbolizing beauty, innocence and purity, says Law. The Gerbera variety, recognizable by their large flowering heads, is available in an assortment of peppy hues, which gives them the additional meaning of cheerfulness. The happy buds are “always a favorite to receive,” she says.

Tulips

orange and yellow tulip

“Tulips stand for perfect love,” says Gaffney. The elegant and easily identifiable blooms are one of the most popular flowers in the world but are most often associated with the Netherlands, where they flourished in the 17th century. They convey comfort and warmth, says Law, and are a good Valentine’s Day pick since they’re classic and affordable.

 

 

Woman’s day. Photos from shutterstock

Ali Kiba might have scooped himself a Ugandan bae

Latest information we have is that AliKiba and this girl named Sharon Fabrinsnky are an item…and there’s proof to that.

Recently, a cozy photo of the two emerged online, sending tongues wagging on whether the two could actually be banging.

In the photo, the ‘Aje’ hit maker was seen shirtless in what seemed like a Hotel, while Sharon on the other hand, was clad in a simple dress.

By mere fact that Alikiba was shirtless, various snoops think he’s already enjoying the central fruits of Sharon who is a fast raising actress based in Kenya.

The insanely hot, dimpled and light skinned Sharon seems to be high in the clouds, as she now frequently litters her social media handles with photos and videos of Ali Kiba.

 

 

-Telescop ug

Police in Kanungu arrest woman for suspected murder of boyfriend

Police are holding Enias Asiimwe, a resident of Muhororo cell in Southern Ward in Kanungu town council in connection with the death of her boyfriend.

Ely Maate, the Kigezi Region Police Spokesperson, says Asiimwe was picked on Tuesday over the mysterious death of Sadique Tukasingura.

Maate says the suspects was picked up while planning to escape and is being held at Kanungu Police Station under CRB 1038/2016. Preliminary information shows that Asiimwe met Tukasingura on November 13th, 2016 in Katokye trading center.

They decided to spend a night together at Asiimwe’s residence where Tukasingura was found dead the next morning. Asiimwe’s neighbor, Stella Kyakunzire, says that by the time they discovered Tukasingura’s body the suspect had gone into hiding.
Police have handed over the deceased’s body to Kambuga Hospital for postmortem to determine the cause of death. The suspect declined to comment on the matter when approached by our reporter.

 

-URN