You could save your marriage by not allowing your man to do chores – study

Couples may be better off living in a “traditional” household where women do all the housework if they want to stay together, according to a report from the Oslo and Akershus University College of Applied Science.

Norwegian researchers were interested to see how married and cohabiting men and women divided housework and childcare throughout various life stages. They analyzed two separate studies involving nearly 20,000 men and women aged 18 to 79: the study of Life Course, Generation and Gender, and the study of the Norwegian Life Course, Ageing, and Generations. Participants respectively answered questions about the division of housework and childcare; their attitudes toward gender equality; as well as other variables like life stage and social class.

The results showed 65 percent of couples equally or near-equally divided childcare, but not housework: Women reported doing all or almost all of the work in 11 percent of couples and “somewhat more of the work” in 60 percent of couples. About 25 percent of couples divided the work more equally, with younger couples, childless couples, and couples where the woman had a full-time job among those more likely to split domestic chores.

Researchers did not find an association between a traditional share of housework (women do most of the work) and a lower risk of divorce — but they did report untraditional couples had a greater risk for divorce. Men who did as much or more of the housework were more likely to get divorced than couples where the woman did most of the housework over a period of four years.

“The more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate,” said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled “Gender Equality At Home,” according to AFP. While researchers found no or very little cause-and-effect, they believe that the observation could be due to “modern” attitudes.

It may be traditional couples “hold a high value of marriage and a more traditional attitude towards divorce,” while untraditional couples “may hold less of a traditional or modern view of marriage, whereby marital dissatisfaction more easily leads to marital break-up,” according to the report.

“Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the chores and in their perception of marriage” as being less sacred, Hansen said, stressing it was all about values. “In these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage much easier if they divorce.”

Researchers said sharing equal responsibility for domestic chores doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment, and that the lack of equality at home and quality of life was surprising. “One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite,” Hansen said.

He said that the correlation could be because couples are happier when they have clearly-defined roles in the relationship where people aren’t stepping on each other’s toes. “There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight,” he added.

The results from the latest survey appears to contradict a recent study carried out by researchers at Cambridge University earlier this year that found men were actually happier when sharing the housework.

The Cambridge study was based on previously collected data from 30,000 people in 34 countries. Researchers found that men had benefited the more they contributed to household chores, but researchers suggested that this could also be because they preferred a quiet life doing housework than having a disgruntled other half.

This story has been updated to include more information on study methods and conclusions.

 

 

 

 

-Medicaldaily

 

 

 

 

Hollywood hunk Tyrese Gibson married in a secret ceremony

Surprise! Fast and the Furious hunk Tyrese is married. The model turned actor, 38, revealed he quietly wed on Valentine’s Day via an Instagram video posted on Tuesday, February 28.

“Mark 10:8 And the two will become #OneFlesh | – Mr & Mrs Gibson……. #MyBlackQueen,” he captioned a montage of photos from his big day, which he set to the tune of country singer Brian Courtney Wilson’s song “I’ll Just Say Yes.”

In the video, his bride, whose identity he did not reveal, wears a pink satin halter gown and diamond headpiece, while the groom opted for a white tux. In another photo shown in the video, the newlyweds show off their wedding bands, which both consist of a bevy of diamonds.

Tyrese Gibson attends the Essence 10th Annual Black Women In Hollywood Awards Gala on February 23, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California David Crotty/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images
The video ends with a message from “Mr. & Mrs. Gibson” which reads: “The best way to express your love towards this blessed union is to keep us covered in prayer.”

Tyrese’s now-wife was photographed with the actor at the 33rd Annual UNCF Mayor’s Masked Ball in Atlanta, Georgia, on December 17, 2016.

Last month he gushed to ABC News about wanting to find a partner for life and hinted at his upcoming nuptials. “I’m nothing until I find my wife,” he said on January 28. “Nobody wants to be alone. Look, that’s going to change soon. I believe it.”

Tyrese was previously married to Norma Mitchell for two years prior to their 2009 split. Together they share 9-year-old daughter Shayla.

 

-US Weekly

Men should marry cleverer and younger women than they are -Research

Men should marry a woman who is cleverer than they are and at least five years younger, if they want the relationship to stand the best chance of lasting, according to new research.

Scientists tracked 1,000 couples who were either married or in serious relationships over five years and then looked for patterns among those who were still together.

They found that neither should have been divorced in the past, the man should be five or more years older and the woman should have received more education than the man.

The academics’ report, published in the European Journal of Operational Research, did say that men and women choose partners “on the basis of love, physical attraction, similarity of taste, beliefs and attitudes, and shared values”.

But it added that using “objective factors” such as age, education and cultural origin “may help reduce divorce”.

Their research suggests marital bliss for pop star Beyoncé Knowles, 33, and her husband, the rap mogul Jay-Z, who is 11 years older at 44. She is also better educated as he did not receive a high school diploma.

However while Michael Douglas, 70, is considerably older than his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, 45, the fact that he was previously divorced would count against them, the findings suggest.

The scientists, including Dr Emmanuel Fragniere of the University of Bath, found that a previous divorce lessened the chances of a relationship surviving, but this was less marked when both partners had been divorced before.

 

 

-Telegraph

Over 500 under age girls get married in every hour -report

One girl under the age of 15 is married every seven seconds, according to a new report by Save the Children.

The study says girls as young as 10 are forced to marry much older men in countries including Afghanistan, Yemen, India and Somalia.

Save the Children says early marriage can trigger a cycle of disadvantage across every part of a girl’s life.

Conflict, poverty and humanitarian crises are seen as major factors that leave girls exposed to child marriage.

“Child marriage starts a cycle of disadvantage that denies girls the most basic rights to learn, develop and be children,” said Save the Children International CEO Helle Thorning-Schmidt.

“Girls who marry too early often can’t attend school, and are more likely to face domestic violence, abuse and rape. They fall pregnant and are exposed to STIs (sexually transmitted infections) including HIV.”

The report, called Every Last Girl, ranks countries based on the hardest place to be a girl based on schooling, child marriage, teen pregnancy, maternal deaths and the number of women in parliament.

Chad, Niger, Central African Republic, Mali and Somalia were ranked at the bottom of the index.

The report says girls affected by conflict are more likely to become child brides.

It says many refugee families marry off their daughters as a way to protect them against poverty or sexual exploitation.

The charity used the example of a 13-year-old Syrian refugee in Lebanon it called Sahar – not her real name – who was married to a 20-year-old man. Now 14, she is two months pregnant.

“The wedding day, I was imagining it would be a great day but it wasn’t. It was all misery. It was full of sadness,” Save the Children quoted her as saying.

“I feel really blessed that I am having a baby. But I am a child raising a child.”

The report says girls also suffer during humanitarian crises such as the Ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone where the shutting down of schools led to an estimated 14,000 teen pregnancies.

The UN children’s agency, Unicef, estimates that the number of women married in childhood will grow from 700 million today to around 950 million by 2030.

The Save the Children’s report coincides with International Day of the Girl on Tuesday.

 

 

-BBC

Time to bow for Hollywood’s longest married couples, shall we?

Let us not be mistaken, there are some couples who have been married for a very long time in Hollywood. Take a look;

Dolly Parton  and  Carl Dean

The couple has been together since 1966. They renewed their marriage vows with Carl Dean, her husband of 48 years, at a ceremony on May 30th.

Denzel and Pauletta Washington

They’ve been inseparable since 1977, but Denzel had to propose to his wife multiple times before she finally agreed to marry him in 1983.

Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness

The duo has been married since 1996, a year after they first set eyes on each other.

Tina Turner and Erwin Bach

Erwin had been Tina’s longtime boyfriend since the mid-1980s. In 2013, they decided it was time to make it official, tying the knot in a star-studded wedding in Switzerland.

David Bowie and Iman

The musician and supermodel married in 1992, two years after they were introduced, and remained together until his death in January 2016.

Viola Davis and Julius Tennon

The two met in the early 2000s after Viola prayed for the right man to come into her life. Viola and Julius’s relationship blossomed, and they married in 2003.

Matt and Luciana Damon

The actor and former bartender reportedly met in 2003 during production of Stuck on You in South Florida. Matt married Luciana the following year.

David and Victoria Beckham

The former Spice Girl’s whirlwind romance with David kicked off in 1997 and culminated in marriage in 1999.

Beyoncé and Jay Z

Beyoncé said she was 19 when she began dating Jay, meaning their relationship started in either 1999 or 2000. They took their time developing the relationship, though, and didn’t get married until 2008.

Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham

Oprah and her tall, handsome man were engaged in 1992, six years after they started dating.

Julia Roberts and Danny Moder

The actress met the cameraman on the set of The Mexican in 2000. Danny put a ring on it in 2002.

Snoop Lion and Shante Broadus

The rapper and his wife are high school sweethearts. They married in 1997 and this year celebrated being together for 25 years.

 

-Popsugar

 

We want the happily ever after, but we don’t want to put the effort

We want a second coffee cup in our Instagrams of lazy Saturday mornings, another pair of shoes in our artsy pictures of our feet. We want a Facebook official relationship every one can like and comment on, we want the social media post that wins #relationshipgoals. We want a date for Sunday morning brunch, someone to commiserate with during the drudge of Mondaze, a Taco Tuesday partner, someone to text us good morning on Wednesday. We want a plus one for all the weddings we keep getting invited to (how did they do it? How did they find their happily ever after?). But we are the generation who doesn’t want a relationship.

We swipe left in hopes of finding the right person. We try to special order our soulmate like a request on Postmates. We read 5 Ways to Know He’s Into You and 7 Ways to Get Her to Fall For You, in hopes of being able to upcycle a person into a relationship like a Pinterest project. We invest more time in our Tinder profiles than our personalities. Yet we don’t want a relationship.

We “talk” and we text, we Snapchat and we sext. We hangout and we happy hour, we go to coffee and grab a beer – anything to avoid an actual date. We private message to meet up, we small talk for an hour only to return home and small talk via text. We forgo any chance of achieving real connection by mutually playing games with no winner. Competing for “Most Detached”, “Biggest Apathetic Attitude”, and “Best at Being Emotionally Unavailable”, what we end up actually winning is “Most Likely to Be Alone”.

We want the façade of a relationship, but we don’t want the work of a relationship. We want the hand holding without the eye contact, the teasing without the serious conversations. We want the pretty promise without the actual commitment, the anniversaries to celebrate without the 365 days of work that leads up to them. We want the happily ever after, but we don’t want to put the effort in the here and now. We want the deep connection, while keeping things shallow. We long for that world series kind of love, without being willing to go to bat.

We want someone to hold our hand, but we don’t want to put the power to hurt us in their hands. We want cheesy pick up lines, but we don’t want to be picked up… for that involves the possibility of being set down. We want to be swept off our feet, yet at the same time remaining safely, independently, standing on our own. We want to keep chasing the idea of love, but we don’t want to actually fall into it.

We don’t want relationships – we want friends with benefits, Netflix and chill, nudes on Tinder. We want anything that will give us the illusion of a relationship, without being in an actual relationship. We want all the rewards and none of the risk, all of the payout and none of the cost. We want to connect – enough, but not too much. We want to commit – a little, but not a lot. We take it slow: we see where it goes, we don’t label things, we just hang out. We keep one foot out the door, we keep one eye open, and we keep people at arm’s length – toying with their emotions but most of all toying with our own.

When things get too close to being real, we run. We hide. We leave. There’s always more fish in the sea. There’s always another chance at finding love. There’s just such a little chance of keeping it these days…

We hope to swipe right into happiness. We want to download the perfect fit like a new app – that can be updated every time there’s a hitch, easily compartmentalized into a folder, deleted when we have no more use for it. We don’t want to unpack our baggage – or, worse, help someone unpack theirs. We want to keep the ugly behind the coverup, hide the imperfections with an Instagram filter, choose another episode on Netflix over a real conversation. We like the idea of loving someone despite their flaws; yet we keep our skeletons locked in the closet, happy to never let them see the light of day.

We feel entitled to love, like we feel entitled to full time jobs out of college. Our trophies-for-everyone youth has taught us that if we want something, we deserve it. Our over-watched Disney VHSs taught us true love, soul mates, and happily ever after exist for everyone. And so we put in no effort, and wonder why our prince charming hasn’t appeared. We sit around, upset that our princess is no where to be found. Where is our consolation prize? We showed up, we’re here. Where’s the relationship we deserve? The true love we’ve been promised?

We want a placeholder, not a person. We want a warm body, not a partner. We want someone to sit on the couch next to us, as we aimlessly scroll through another newsfeed, open another app to distract us from our lives. We want to walk this middle line: pretending we don’t have emotions while wearing our heart on our sleeve, wanting to be needed by someone yet not wanting to need someone. We play hard to get just to test if someone will play hard enough – we don’t even fully understand it ourselves. We sit around with friends discussing the rules, but no one even knows the game we’re trying to play. Because the problem with our generation not wanting relationships is that, at the end of the day, we actually do.

 

 

 

 

-Huffingtonpost

Man kills own mother for interfering with his marriage

A 30-year-old man in Soroti has hacked his mother to death accusing her of interfering in his marital affairs.
Robert Aidet, a resident of Awaliwal village in Gweri Sub County reportedly attacked his 80-year-old mother Mary Alwaro in her home in the wee hours of this morning.
He accused his mother of harassing his wife whenever he would be away from home.

Juma Hassan Nyene, the East Kyoga Regional police spokesperson, says Aidet is in custody at Soroti central police station, adding that he will be charged with murder.

 

-URN