Tick a few boxes before you roll into independence

In Summary
  • Create a support system
  • One should also have a sustainable source of income 
  • It is a moment to discover yourself
Learn to live by yourself.
Image: Online Photo

You have finished school, probably got a job. When is it okay to leave your parents' guardians' home and start your own? Many young faces the predicament of preparing for this sensitive time of their life. Today we explore what one needs to know before they start out their journey to independence. 

Dealing with your parents

Many parents admit that their children are never too old to stay under their care. Mrs. Kwezi Maria says, "When my son opened up to me that he had found a place to stay and wanted to start life on his own, I was shuttered on the inside though I did not express it to him. I felt like I had not prepared him enough for the cruelty of the world out there. I was very worried about how this so much freedom would change him. I thought of the bad people, especially women who might take advantage of him and destroy my jewel. But I tried to handle this on the inside yet on the outside, I had to support his decision." She recalls constantly asking his son whether he was mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually ready to take care of himself a couple of times.

As you start out your life, it is important that people at home are at par with your decision. One can never be totally by oneself. Everyone needs a support system, especially from home. Explain to your parents or guardians the basis of your decision and ask them for their blessing. Kwezi further explains that her son had almost everything he needed to start off, but as a parent,  I did shop for him some more so he knows, I still love, support, and bless him.

Build your support System

Well as you may have a supportive family after you leave their house, you may not encounter them as often as you are accustomed to. It is at this point that the Founder of Fabulous Beautiful Homes, Immaculate Natongo stresses the value of supportive friends. "For one starting out life, the challenges are quite many. Because you are purchasing so many things, a day comes when you can barely afford a meal, house rent, or basic requirements. It is touting to keep going home to ask for these things, that is where supportive friends come in, to aid you to stay on your feet ut offer the much-needed encouragement." She says


Natongo explains that like any other area of life, starting out an independent life requires one to have a mentor. Someone whose story inspires you to be better each day. It is crucial to desire growth otherwise like anyone She added that living an independent life is a little bit hard if one has no mentor. One needs to avail themselves to learning, life like everything else has challenges, some we can handle on our own, while others we can handle with help from mentors and other people who have been there before us. As Wilferd Paterson  states  in his poem; The art of living each day, "Anyone can endeavor to learn something new each day and mark some growth." Wilferd Peterson

Stable income

Transformational Master Coach Joan Mugenzi stresses the importance of streamlining one's source of income before setting out. "Living an independent life is about being ready to take on responsibility for your life in different aspects the biggest being, taking care of your bills," says Mugenzi.

She further explains that for starters money is always not enough, one should be mindful to avoid living beyond their means. Your house rent, feeding, bills, and other expenditures should align with your income to avoid the stress that comes with debts.

Managing expectations

Life may not turn out as expected! As you plan to set out into your independent life, one needs to learn to manage their expectations. Olivia Nalubwama a banker tells her story. "I failed a couple of times but what has kept me, is my resilience. I did not give up." She narrates. I left home shortly before the first lockdown. I had prepared to leave home for a year. So materially, I was set however when they announced the lockdown, I got a panic attack. My workplace reduced the number of workers unfortunately I was stopped. I struggled to get rent for those months. I knew a friend who sold second-hand clothes. I asked him to send all his stalk to me and I would give him the money. I started out as an online clothing shop. That is how I managed to survive through the lockdowns.  It had never crossed my mind that there would be such a time as this. I had envisioned, staying alone would mean, buying myself the best of everything, hosting friends at parties, going for trips, and just having fun since I am my own master. Alas! Life happened but I thank God, I have learned through it all." Says Naluwama.

The temptation to commit immaturely

Kazibwe Fahad (not real name)  recollects how he almost got married pre-maturely. I had just left home and being the only boy at home, I was used to everything being done for me. I hardly did any chores. When I left to stay on my own, it was challenging, keeping my house clean, laying my bed, cooking food, and everything else though I hired a maid who would come in once a week to clean. Sometimes because I had boys over for a drink to two, the house would be messy. A lady in my close circles spotted that as an opportunity. She often offered to clean and help out around the house. I didn't love her but before I knew it, she was spending nights and we were getting close. I realized soon enough that it wasn't right and I asked her not to come back, I risked being called a user. 

Kazibwe warns especially men to be intentional about the people especially the women they host in their houses. The freedom that comes with independence carries with it immense temptation. Beware!

Striking a balance

Having a balanced life is a key factor to consider. Many times, when people experience the freedom of staying on their own, they tend to neglect certain key aspects of their lives. Some tend to ignore the families, others tend to work and forget their social lives, while others are taken up by their social lives and ignore work. Being able to balance your financial, social, spiritual, and mental aspects keeps you afloat. 

 Go Be the Best Version of you

The importance of staying alone is solely to help you discover who you are. It is important for one to learn to relate with yourself before you come out to the world. Staying by yourself, helps you discover who you are, know your strengths, face your fears, polish yourself and serve the world with the best version of you. As you go out the world, aim to be a better person, aim to improve your community, and good luck on your new step of growth.